Barstool Astrology by Reda Wigle

Barstool Astrology
by Reda Wigle

March 2021

Fish in a barrel and feelings by the bucket, it’s Pisces season. As whimsical as it is destructive Piscean energy draws from intuition, liminal spaces, salt lamps, bathtubs and the ghost of George Harrison.

The most innately creative sign of the zodiac and undoubtedly the first to keep a dream journal, Pisces is refreshingly devoid of the hesitation and doubt that hinder full expression of art or feeling. The lesson to be learned from this time, recently bestowed to me by a Pisces friend is this: unused energy is a malignant force, it doesn’t dissipate, it transmutes into dark matter. The same applies to untapped emotions.

The meditation – and medicine – is to feel everything as acutely as possible while recognizing that all is temporary. Let it out and let it go. In the prose of Ancient Pisces power poet Ovid, “What was before is left behind; what never was is now; and every passing moment is renewed.”

Pisces:
February 19 - March 20

Fellow Pisces and voice of god, Nina Simone advised “You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.”

What Nina didn’t say, but what I trust you, fellow fish, will soon learn to believe, is that you have your own stores of love, enough to spread yourself a feast. Leave the starving table of others and serve yourself.

Notable Pisces: Jordan Peele / February 21, 1979

Aries:
March 21 - April 19

Film star and fellow Aries, Mary Pickford had a rough go as a kiddo, abandoned by her drunkard father she grew up impoverished in a home she shared with strange boarders. “I was forced to live far beyond my years when I was a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely.”

I bring you the inverted childhood of Mary as a model for happiness, Aries. You alone decide how young you are and how free you feel.

Notable Aries: Lawrence Ferlinghetti / March 24, 1919

Taurus:
April 20 - May 20

Warrior planet Mars enters your second house of assets and cash monies this month, Taurus. While this is an auspicious time to generate income and receive new opportunities, there is a deeper plan at work.

As doors open and pockets empty, remember that your work is worthy of compensation and that you wholly deserve, and should feel no guilt in claiming, the abundance that is offered to you.

Notable Taurus: Ma Rainey / April 26, 1886

Gemini
May 21 - June 20

Fantasy writer and unabashed goth Holly Black has a warning about wanting. “That’s what comes of hungering for something; you forget to check if it’s rotten before you gobble it down.”

As Pisces season asks you to consider who and what you have appetites for, I hope you will heed Black’s words, Gemini. Investigate the object of your desire before you commit to its consumption.

Notable Gemini: Priscilla Presley / May 24, 1945

Cancer:
June 21 - July 22

Mystic and fellow moon child Peter Deunov asks, “What sort of love is permeated by jealousy? You are jealous because you are unaware that everything you need is inside you.”

I hope Pete’s words resonate with you as you move through this watery season of feeling less than enough. Nothing should be coveted and nothing can be taken from you if you trust that you are all that you could ever need.

Notable Cancer: P.T. Barnum / July 5, 1810

Leo:
July 23 - August 22

Silent movie star, original sinner and fellow Leo, Theda Bara said, “To be good is to be forgotten.”

I appreciate Theda’s theatrics, but I have a different suggestion, one that I hope you will put into practice in the weeks ahead. Be wildly, unreasonably kind to everyone you meet: Doing good is the only thing worth being remembered for.

Notable Leo: Phoebe Bridgers / August 17, 1994

Virgo:
August 23 - September 22

Director and fellow Virgo Tyler Perry has a theory, “The most dangerous person in the world is a person with nothing to lose. The most powerful person in the world is a person with nothing to prove.”

Now, more than ever, you are equal parts power and danger, Virgo. Without the burden of proof or the leverage of loss, you are at long last free to do, be, conquer, claim, exalt, whatever you want.

Notable Virgo: Lennox Lewis / September 2, 1965

Libra:
September 23 - October 22

Stuntman and fellow Libra Evel Knievel worked for a spell as an insurance salesman. He dreamed of climbing the ranks to become VP of the agency. When he was passed over for promotion he abruptly quit and began selling motorcycles and consequently, planning high wire stunts as a way to promote their sale.

The moral of Evel’s story and the lesson for you dear Libra is this: not getting what you want is often exactly what you need.

Notable Libra: Ray Charles / September 23, 1930

Scorpio:
October 23 - November 21

Human connection specialist and fellow Scorpio Mark Groves writes, “Every time you hold back the truth you make fear more important than love. The depth of your ability to love will always be mirrored by your ability to be honest.”

Do these words reverberate in you from tip to scorpion tail? Dive deep, don’t flinch and remember truth is the midwife of love.

Notable Scorpio: Madds Mikkelsen / November 22, 1965

Sagittarius:
November 22 - December 21

A very wise, very pregnant Sagittarius friend of mine, reflecting on the stages of her own life advised, “We need different horses for different courses.”

As your trajectory shifts and your course is replotted, archer, I hope this mantra will serve you. If you’re going where you’ve never been before, you’ll need new hooves to take you.

Notable Sagittarius: Walt Disney / December 5, 1901

Capricorn:
December 22 - January 19

Firestarter planet Mars is making rounds in your sixth house of health and wellbeing. As an earth sign, you’re innately aware of what your body needs to sustain itself: sex, sleep, a warm meal, a cold drink, fresh air. You’re less adept at addressing your need for emotional and spiritual sustenance.

Health comes only from wholeness and in order to feel fully vital, you’ll need to feed every part of yourself.

Notable Capricorn: Anna May Wong / January 3, 1905

Aquarius:
January 20 - February 18

You’re likely feeling the fall out of the recent standoff between your two ruling planets, troublemaker Uranus and no fun for anyone task master, Saturn. This could manifest as an uncomfortable pull between personal priorities and meeting the emotional needs of others.

Decide what you want and defend your right to want it, people pleasing and word mincing will only serve to confuse all parties. It is more important for you to be clear than to be kind.

Notable Aquarius: John Belushi / January 24, 1949

FQJ's managing editor, Reda Wigle, is a writer, editor and journalist who divides her time between the salt and grit of Key West and New Orleans. Her work has been published in travel anthologies and online platforms. Her profiles and astrology column, Barstool Astrology, appear regularly in the Key West Weekly and The French Quarter Journal. She holds an MA in Studio Art from the University of Colorado and an MFA in Creative Non-Fiction from the University of New Orleans. She is the winner of the 2020 Gulf Coast Association of Creative Writing Teachers’ first place Non-Fiction award. In 2020 she was awarded the Fredrick Barton Service Award for her work as associate editor of Bayou Magazine, a literary journal curated and published in New Orleans, La. Reda is managing editor of French Quarter Journal. Contact her here.

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