Barstool Astrology by Reda Wigle

Barstool Astrology
by Reda Wigle

January 2021

Cosmically speaking, I am compelled to wish you not just a happy New Year but a happy New Era. After an interminable rotation through earth signs, power couple planets Jupiter and Saturn have set up shop in freewheeling, air-dwelling Aquarius. And my stars, we are all in sore need of that fresh air.

Yet, there are lessons to be sifted from the ashes of the dumpster fire that was last year. As the smoke clears, let us remember that life is both beautiful and brutal, and time the only currency. As we bring ourselves into the light of this new year, I bring you Hermann Hesse’s meditation on the necessity of being radically absorbed in each new moment.

"This day will never come again and anyone who fails to eat and drink and taste and smell it will never have it offered to him again in all eternity. The sun will never shine as it does today. You must play your part and sing a song, one of your best."

And so my friends, in this new year and in each new day; eat well, shout your song, bow to the rising sun of the never before and the setting sun of the never again.

Capricorn:
December 22 - January 19

This month you may feel pressed between what the heart wants and what the grindstone demands. With Mars and Saturn at odds, swinging wildly towards whim or callously towards ambition will cost you.

The solution is structure, by no means a foreign concept for sea goats. Schedule time for indulgence and duty in equal measure. You need money to live but you can’t afford to waste your life in the sole pursuit of it.

Notable Capricorn: Pete Buttigieg / January 19, 1982

Aquarius:
January 20 - February 18

With Mercury, Saturn, Jupiter and the sun itself moving through your sign this month, the age of Aquarius is nigh indeed. Like the mythical Ganymede who fed drinking water to the gods, you too have an offering to make.

Whatever dream you can scheme, project you can propose or wisdom you can bestow, the time to share what you have, or hope for, is now. Pour it out and bring it on.

Notable Aquarius: Babur / February 14, 1483

Pisces:
February 19 - March 20

Nobel Prize winning author and fellow Pisces, John Steinbeck wrote, "In uncertainty I am certain that underneath their topmost layers of frailty, men want to be good and want to be loved. Indeed, most of their vices are attempted shortcuts to love."

I offer you these words in the hope that they inspire compassion towards the frail wantings and bumbling shortcuts of others and move you, when it comes to love, to take the ever-seeking, long way around.

Notable Pisces: Rick Bass / March 7, 1958

Aries:
March 21 - April 19

Singer, scarf collector and fellow ram, Steven Tyler has a thing or two to say about waiting. “The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those that got there first.”

Impatience is your birthright, Aries, and in the first days of this new year I urge you to direct your avidity full stop at who and what you want. Settle not for scraps, be the first to the feast of your own life.

Notable Aries: Adrien Brody / April 14, 1973

Taurus:
April 20 - May 20

Famed speaker, writer, and fellow bull Jiddu Krishnamurti writes, “One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.” I trust this sentiment will resonate deeply with you Taurus, as you challenge long held conceptions of yourself as predictable and predictably obstinate.

Uranus, planet of rebellion and upheaval is moving through your sign, finding you breaking free and acting out in ways that will confound, and even frighten others. Now is the end of who you were and the beginning of the wild unknown of who you might yet be.

Notable Taurus: Gal Gadot / April 30, 1985

Gemini
May 21 - June 20

Famed psychoanalyst and fellow Gemini, Erik Erikson, believed into late adolescence that his stepfather was his biological father. Erickson marked the moment of paternal revelation as one of deep confusion and betrayal. As an adult trying to understand and dismantle that enduring pain, he developed the theories of identity crisis and life-stage virtues.

I bring Erikson to your attention as a gentle reminder that we heal ourselves not through quick doses or one-time cures, but through a lifetime of investigating and unlearning ourselves and our suffering.

Notable Gemini: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle / May 22, 1859

Cancer:
June 21 - July 22

A new moon in Capricorn and the alignment of Jupiter and Uranus activate/instigate intimacy and communication for you crab folk. The focus for you is on truth telling – revealing your own and creating space safe enough for others to entrust you with theirs.

Your tried and true tactics of manipulation, emotional withholding, silent treatments and subtle psychological warfare have no place here. The only game worth playing is the one where you lay all of your cards on the table.

Notable Cancer: Robin Williams / July 21, 1951

Leo:
July 23 - August 22

Actress and fellow lion Kate Beckinsale has an unusual talent – she is one of a slim margin of marksmen (or women) that can fire a shot without blinking.

I share Kate’s unflinching approach to riflery as a metaphorical reminder to you, Leo. You are courageous enough to face the shocks and jolts of life with fierce curiosity and eyes fixed open on what lies ahead.

Notable Leo: Princess Margaret / August 21, 1930

Virgo:
August 23 - September 22

January brings an end to the arduous journey of Mars through your intimate, shadow-ruled eighth house. Since the summer’s solstice you’ve been cutting your teeth on the rough edges of your own heart. Busy and burdened, plumbing emotional depths, old fears, childhood wounds and the fresh pain of recent triggers.

Now, at long last, the stars are shifting and your work is changing. You are living in the sun again, buoyed by gratitude born from time spent in the dark.

Notable Virgo: Patsy Cline / September 8, 1932

Libra:
September 23 - October 22

The past few months have made for a season of separation for you Libra, one of literal or metaphorical isolation, neither of which is a natural place for your sociable self. As we move towards Aquarius season, your fifth house of play will be illuminated. The fifth house rules wonderment and the unapologetic pursuit of good times and glad rags.

Your time alone has prepared you for this walk in the park and hopefully, imbued you with the knowledge that you require no companion to reap the reward of joy. In that park, you are company enough.

Notable Libra: T-Pain / September 30, 1985

Scorpio:
October 23 - November 21

This month’s new moon in Capricorn marks the beginning of a new cycle of communication for you, Scorpio. Because the relationship you have with yourself provides the scaffolding for all others in your life, I humbly suggest you cultivate a gentler approach to internal dialogue.

Speak, to and about yourself, with reverence. Hush the voice that urges you to criticize rather than create and react instead of reflect. I suspect if you can master the art of speaking softly to yourself it will fast become a grace you give to others.

Notable Scorpio: Susan Rice / October 27, 1940

Sagittarius:
November 22 - December 21

Guitarist, enduring hedonist and fellow Sagittarius Keith Richards writes, "To me, life is a wild animal. You hope to deal with it when it leaps at you." Have the low howls and bared teeth of life have been having their way with you, archer?

Remember as you move through this year that the best way to approach all wildness is not to fight, but to follow. Luck is on your side so long as your mind is hungry and your footsteps light.

Notable Sagittarius: Noam Chomsky / December 7, 1928

FQJ's managing editor, Reda Wigle, is a writer, editor and journalist who divides her time between the salt and grit of Key West and New Orleans. Her work has been published in travel anthologies and online platforms. Her profiles and astrology column, Barstool Astrology, appear regularly in the Key West Weekly and The French Quarter Journal. She holds an MA in Studio Art from the University of Colorado and an MFA in Creative Non-Fiction from the University of New Orleans. She is the winner of the 2020 Gulf Coast Association of Creative Writing Teachers’ first place Non-Fiction award. In 2020 she was awarded the Fredrick Barton Service Award for her work as associate editor of Bayou Magazine, a literary journal curated and published in New Orleans, La. Reda is managing editor of French Quarter Journal. Contact her here.

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